How to Win Friends & Influence People by Dale Carnegie
In a recent post by on the Joel on Software blog by Joel Spolsky (Joel on Software: How to be a program manager) I read about the famous book "How to Win Friends & Influence People". The book covers some great ways to communicate with people and in a decent and nice way. Although the book is written more than 70 years ago, the book still applies to everyday situations. I bought the book and expected a book which covers the different aspects of communicating with people in a sort of step-by-step way which explains human behaviour. However this was not the case. The book is 95% examples and 5% explanation and guidelines.
Is this bad? No! Definately not! It gave me great insight in the human behaviour and how to cope with certain situations.
Is the book hard to read? Yes, in my opionion it is. I was not very charmed by the fact that I had to read example after example after example about how a certain principle worked for famous person X or regular person Y or business associate Z. I expected more of an in-depth explanation on why a certain principle worked and how it could be applied in a more general way.
However, all the principles and theories provided in this book are spot-on and can be applied in everyday situations.
For example I tried applying the simple principle of "Talk about your own mistakes first". I had some problems with my phone bills as I have converted my private-phone-plan contract to a business-plan contract. Some bills where lost or unretrievable from the website, I got charged twice in a certain period and got credited multiple times in other months. All was a mess and I could not make heads or tails about it.
When I called them, I did not start by stating they where wrong or that they had a non-transparent way of migrating me from a private to a business-plan contract. And that charging me double is totally outrages. Instead I started by stating that I was totally lost in the bills I received and that what was charged on my private bank account and business bank account did not add up in my mind. The response was that in their computer system all seemed well and that everything adds up neatly. However they did confirm that all was a bit of a mystery and that they would gladly help me make sense of it. I asked if she could resend all of the bills they had sent to me again so I would have everything in one batch. She responded that normally they could not do this and that they have to charge for it, but as it was a complex situation she would sent me all and charge nothing for it.
It amazed me that when I applied this simple principle, I got satisfying help and they even gave me more than I asked. I am sure that when I started complaining and stating they were to blame, I would have received a less satisfying response and maybe receive no additional help at all.
The bottom line is; this book is a really great read for everyone who wants to get the most out of everything he does and make his 'world' a more happy place to live in.